Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship

Over the last few days, I read a few articles in regard to the long-distance relationship. The best reading I found is 'Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship' by Liba Pearson. Well, I agreed with most of the arguments in this article, especially the point that information technology has definitely led people to believe that long-distance relationships will work more than in the past. But, what the best of the article is the argument that the quality of communication is more important than the frequency of it, no matter which method you use.

Agreed - those of us who've tried long distance relationships can all attest: it's hard.

True, building a new relationship is a whole lot harder than maintaining an existing one. The article recommends those in love with one in miles away can ease a lot of long-term discomfort and confusion by defining your expectations in advance. For instance, unless you're looking for a casual, non-exclusive relationship, at some point, one of you is going to have to move. That can add a whole lot of stress to your already strained couplehood. So, from the beginning, set out a game plan. - but, can any one of us move??

What I need to remember from the reading is I can't compare a long-distance relationship to one based on physical proximity. Although simple companionship and connectedness is the critical parts of a relationship, I have to prepare myself for the absence of my love's warmth, smile and all the wonders of non-verbal communication

Freaking out........definitly I do.........some people may think when their love and they were separated for a few weeks, they drove their love absolutely crazy because they needed to talk to their love for most of the time. I discovered this when somehow if my love skipped a few SMSs and I went freaking out. I felt millions of miles away from my love, unloved, uncared for, forgotten... and I was not sure my love have had an accident and that's why my love couldn't reply me.

OK, what I am learning now is - missing a day/a week or a few does not indicate relationshipial jeopardy. If a SMS or an e-mail doesn't arrive, do not assume that my love has run off with the handsome guys or been hijacked.

What I also learn from this reading is we need to discuss the communication needs and limits. It's likely that one side will need more communication more than the other. If I want more contact than my love, try to be less demanding.If I need less, try to be a little more communicative than I might tend to be. Try to reach a point in the middle.

The reading also maintains that e-mail is a wonderful invention for separated loved ones, but the article also reminds me to be careful about relying on e-mail to resolve conflicts. The problem here is that e-mail feels as casual as a phone call, but it's permanent. In SMSs and emails, words are in black and white - tone, intentions and content can all be easily misconstrued and misunderstood.

Before the modern technology was born, people kept in long-distant contact by writing words on a letter - not many people do this now, but I do because you can keep this forever. Your love will see your efforts in the relationship (Sorry, SMSs cannot compare to letters)

Ultimately, communication is the key to long-distance love. The article teachs me I have to talk lots about everything, from how to deal with times when I feel lonely, to how I will overcome fears and anxieties. It's also important to keep your partner involved in your daily life. The reading stated that "news like your car breaking down might sound boring to you, but it's those little details that keep you connected". Anyways, I know communication is the survival of a relationship - in fact, in all type of relationship.